Cleveland Browns Head Coaching Solution: Have a Special Guest Coach of the Week for Entire 2014 Season

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The Cleveland Browns have been impervious to success for quite a while, and that’s hardly a secret. Over the past 12 years, the rushing clown automotive stuck in reverse has received greater than six football games precisely as soon as. In five of these lively seasons, they topped out at a paltry 4 victories.

To call the situation in Cleveland an unmitigated catastrophe could be placing it mildly. This previous season, their beginning quarterback for 5 video games was a second 12 months participant that turned 30 in Week 6. Solely the Browns.

The storied organization predictably went on to fireplace head coach Rob Chudzinski after only one season, barely permitting the guy a chance to make a dent. Giving a coach one season to fix the Browns is like expecting someone to fix the financial system over their lunch break. So now we start over, once more.

For the time being, and to the surprise of no one, inebriated possession isn’t having a lot luck discovering a brand new head coach. This in fact brings us to a thoughtful suggestion since there’s a very good chance we’ll be having the same precise depressing discussion after subsequent season. And that suggestion is…

Forget the idea of a new Browns head coach and as an alternative have a special guest coach of the week for each of the group’s sixteen games subsequent year. Put it this way, would you rather end 4-12 and be depressing or end four-12 and have a bit fun? You know no matter they find yourself doing, it’s going to be one thing alongside the traces of four-12.

Now there are several methods to go about this. The visitor list may very well be predetermined or followers could vote every week from a list of retired, terrible coaches, ideally ones with football backgrounds, although not required.

Think about all of the fans outdoors of Cleveland who would normally ignore the Browns that might immediately show curiosity, albeit a laughing one. In keeping with my imaginary dialog with sports enterprise executive Darren Rovell, the voting possibility can be the more lucrative marketing opportunity as it would create a weekly buzz leading as much as every sport and allow the Browns to bid out brand placement on the poll for a major company sponsor to slap their brand on. Model consciousness, model explosion.

But alas, since we already know who the Browns are playing next yr, it’s extra enjoyable to make the record right now. Beneath is a listing of special guest head coaches for next season. The chief themes here can be endless charisma and excessive trolling of different franchises, or both.

House Video games

Texans — Gary Kubiak. A revenge recreation no-brainer. Plus, Gary could use the apply and the Browns may agree to middle the game around a sponsorship from Kubiak’s hair dye.

Raiders — Art Shell comes to mind, though for the reason that sport isn’t in Oakland, I are likely to lean Art Vandelay just based on the sheer variety of trick plays that guy most likely has up his sleeve.

Browns fan bottle

Bengals — The unhinged man pictured above. That guy was born to educate a rivalry game. And sure, this will serve as a one-time only “bottles allowed on the field” sport.

Ravens — Lou Holtz. The Browns would most likely give their greatest effort in over decade and the publish-game press conference with Lou peering over the rostrum would be incredible.

Steelers — Some dude dressed in Ben Roethlisberger’s uniform. Whereas I assume this is some type of uniform infraction beneath the coaches necessities, cameras would positively catch the taunting apparel earlier than stated person was required to vary, creating that every one-necessary buzz on social media. The choice after that's to easily don't have any coach for the game and simply let the players run around.

Colts — David Shula. He is now the endearing president of a steakhouse. It’s not like the Browns can get any worse.

Saints — Luke McCown. Drew Brees’ backup who threw one move last year. He’s absolutely ineffective on the Saints sideline and will provide the Browns a couple of pointers. Plus, he began his career in Cleveland. Full circle really feel good story.

Buccaneers — Vinny Testaverde. Had to reserve a spot for Vinny and there’s no higher spot for him to educate than in opposition to the franchise that witnessed him throw 112 interceptions in six conscious seasons.

Away

Ravens — Vincent Okay. McMahon. Bear in mind, this metropolis took the Browns. A stupendous middle finger salute from Mr. McMahon as he emerges from the tunnel would go viral in 30 seconds.

Bengals — Sam Wyche. An awesome alternative to return to Cincinnati to remind Bengals fans that they don't in truth reside within the city of Cleveland.

Steelers — Bill Cowher and his commanding chin. An ugly brawl at mid-field earlier than the game between followers, gamers and scorching dog distributors leads to the NFL’s first ever double forfeit. Twitter retires, SportsCenter experiences report ratings.

Jaguars — Rich Kotite. Was at all times amused by the quote from the previous Jets and Eagles coach of “my report speaks for itself,” especially considering his profession coaching document of 41-57. Makes for an intriguing matchup with the Jags.

Titans — Webster Slaughter. Played receiver for the Browns and then had a few productive seasons with the Houston Oilers, so I’m guessing Webster’s pretty pissed the Oilers eventually grew to become the Tennessee Titans. Excellent buzz surrounding this one, particularly since most of us have no idea the place Webster is or what Webster is doing.

Payments — Vinny Del Negro. No football background however storied coaching ineptitude matches the spirit of both the Browns and the Bills. One other no-brainer.

Falcons — Ralph Wiggum. Fictional character that picks his nose and eats paste, sure, however the Browns are just about a fictional franchise that picks its nostril and eats paste.

Panthers — Ric Flair. The Nature Boy turning the screws on the easily excitable Steve Smith as soon as once more. Two claps and a Nature Boy certainly.

Sadly, it seems as if the Browns will turn to the unoriginal and hire the Bills defensive coordinator … and be the Browns once more subsequent yr.

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Fantasy football rankings

Who do the moderators on Rotoworld’s Boards rank at each position this week? Try their Week 5 Rankings for PPR Leagues.

*Order relies on the cumulative rankings of six of the moderators. Fantasy football week 5 ranks

Rk QUARTERBACKS Rk RUNNING BACKS Rk LARGE RECEIVERS Rk TIGHT ENDS Rk DEF/ST
1 Peyton Manning DEN at DAL 1 Jamaal Charles KC at TEN 1 Calvin Johnson DET at GB 1 Jimmy Graham NO at CHI 1 Chiefs at TEN
2 Aaron Rodgers GB vs. DET 2 LeSean McCoy PHI at NYG 2 Demaryius Thomas DEN at DAL 2 Jordan Cameron CLE vs. BUF 2 Rams vs. JAC
three Drew Brees NO at CHI three Matt Forte CHI vs. NO 3 Dez Bryant DAL vs. DEN three Antonio Gates SD at OAK three Browns vs. BUF
4 Matthew Stafford DET at GB 4 Reggie Bush DET at GB four Victor Cruz NYG vs. PHI four Jason Witten DAL vs. DEN 4 Panthers at ARI
5 Michael Vick PHI at NYG 5 Marshawn Lynch SEA at IND 5 Brandon Marshall CHI vs. NO 5 Julius Thomas DEN at DAL 5 Falcons vs. NYJ
6 Tom Brady NE at CIN 6 Arian Foster HOU at SF 6 Julio Jones ATL vs. NYJ 6 Tony Gonzalez ATL vs. NYJ 6 Seahawks at IND
7 Philip Rivers SD at OAK 7 Darren Sproles NO at CHI 7 A.J. Inexperienced CIN vs. NE 7 Greg Olsen AUTOMOBILE at ARI 7 49ers vs. HOU
8 Cam Newton AUTOMOBILE at ARI eight Ray Rice BAL at MIA eight Randall Cobb GB vs. DET 8 Vernon Davis SF vs. HOU 8 Ravens at MIA
9 Tony Romo DAL vs. DEN 9 Frank Gore SF vs. HOU 9 Wes Welker DEN at DAL 9 Jared Cook STL vs. JAC 9 Patriots at CIN
10 Matt Ryan ATL vs. NYJ 10 DeMarco Murray DAL vs. DEN 10 Andre Johnson HOU at SF 10 Martellus Bennett CHI vs. NO 10 Texans at SF
11 Colin Kaepernick SF vs. HOU eleven Giovani Bernard CIN vs. NE 11 Larry Fitzgerald ARI vs. AUTOMOBILE eleven Charles Clay MIA vs. BAL 11 Chargers at OAK
12 Eli Manning NYG vs. PHI 12 Trent Richardson IND vs. SEA 12 Jordy Nelson GB vs. DET 12 Owen Daniels HOU at SF 12 Payments at CLE
13 Sam Bradford STL vs. JAC thirteen David Wilson NYG vs. PHI 13 DeSean Jackson PHI at NYG 13 Jermichael Finley GB vs. DET thirteen Broncos at DAL
14 Jay Cutler CHI vs. NO 14 Eddie Lacy GB vs. DET 14 Josh Gordon CLE vs. BUF 14 Coby Fleener IND vs. SEA 14 Dolphins vs. BAL
15 Russell Wilson SEA at IND 15 Maurice Jones-Drew JAC at STL 15 Marques Colston NO at CHI 15 Brandon Myers NYG vs. PHI 15 Saints at CHI
16 Andrew Luck IND vs. SEA 16 Bilal Powell NYJ at ATL sixteen Torrey Smith BAL at MIA 16 Brandon Pettigrew DET at GB sixteen Bears vs. NO
17 Terrelle Pryor OAK vs. SD 17 Danny Woodhead SD at OAK 17 Eric Decker DEN at DAL 17 Rob Gronkowski NE at CIN 17 Bengals vs. NE
18 Brian Hoyer CLE vs. BUF 18 Chris Johnson TEN vs. KC 18 Reggie Wayne IND vs. SEA 18 Dallas Clark BAL at MIA 18 Colts vs. SEA
19 Alex Smith KC at TEN 19 Lamar Miller MIA vs. BAL 19 Anquan Boldin SF vs. HOU 19 Jermaine Gresham CIN vs. NE 19 Cardinals vs. AUTOMOTIVE
20 Andy Dalton CIN vs. NE 20 Knowshon Moreno DEN at DAL 20 Hakeem Nicks NYG vs. PHI 20 Kellen Winslow NYJ at ATL 20 Titans vs. KC
21 Ryan Tannehill MIA vs. BAL 21 Fred Jackson BUF at CLE 21 Steve Smith AUTOMOBILE at ARI 21 Brent Celek PHI at NYG 21 Packers vs. DET
22 Joe Flacco BAL at MIA 22 DeAngelo Williams AUTOMOTIVE at ARI 22 Julian Edelman NE at CIN 22 Tyler Eifert CIN vs. NE 22 Giants vs. PHI
23 Matt Schaub HOU at SF 23 Joique Bell DET at GB 23 Cecil Shorts JAC at STL 23 Garrett Graham HOU at SF 23 Eagles at NYG
24 Carson Palmer ARI vs. CAR 24 Ryan Mathews SD at OAK 24 Roddy White ATL vs. NYJ 24 Scott Chandler BUF at CLE 24 Jets at ATL
25 E.J. Manuel BUF at CLE 25 Rashad Jennings OAK vs. SD 25 Mike Wallace MIA vs. BAL 25 Delanie Walker TEN vs. KC 25 Lions at GB
26 Geno Smith NYJ at ATL 26 Pierre Thomas NO at CHI 26 James Jones GB vs. DET 26 Robert Housler ARI vs. AUTOMOTIVE 26 Jaguars at STL
27 Blaine Gabbert JAC at STL 27 Stevan Ridley NE at CIN 27 Brian Hartline MIA vs. BAL 27 Anthony Fasano KC at TEN 27 Cowboys vs. DEN
28 Ryan Fitzpatrick TEN vs. KC 28 Daryl Richardson STL vs. JAC 28 Danny Amendola NE at CIN 28 Zach Miller SEA at IND 28 Raiders vs. SD
29 Matt Flynn OAK vs. SD 29 Jacquizz Rodgers ATL vs. NYJ 29 Steve Johnson BUF at CLE 29 Marcedes Lewis JAC at STL
30 Jake Locker TEN vs. KC 30 C.J. Spiller BUF at CLE 30 Dwayne Bowe KC at TEN 30 Mychal Rivera OAK vs. SD
31 Willis McGahee CLE vs. BUF 31 Kenbrell Thompkins NE at CIN 31 Joseph Fauria DET at GB
32 Jason Snelling ATL vs. NYJ 32 Alshon Jeffery CHI vs. NO 32 Sean McGrath KC at TEN
33 Rashard Mendenhall ARI vs. CAR 33 DeAndre Hopkins HOU at SF
34 Ben Tate HOU at SF 34 Nate Washington TEN vs. KC
35 Brandon Bolden NE at CIN 35 Michael Floyd ARI vs. AUTOMOBILE
36 Andre Ellington ARI vs. AUTOMOBILE 36 Justin Blackmon JAC at STL
37 BenJarvus Inexperienced-Ellis CIN vs. NE 37 Tavon Austin STL vs. JAC
38 Ronnie Hillman DEN at DAL 38 Ty Hilton IND vs. SEA
39 Isaiah Pead STL vs. JAC 39 Denarius Moore OAK vs. SD
40 Chris Ogbonnaya CLE vs. BUF 40 Eddie Royal SD at OAK
41 Bernard Pierce BAL at MIA forty one Kendall Wright TEN vs. KC
42 Johnathan Franklin GB vs. DET 42 Jeremy Kerley NYJ at ATL
forty three LeGarrette Blount NE at CIN 43 Chris Givens STL vs. JAC
44 Montee Ball DEN at DAL 44 Golden Tate SEA at IND
forty five Ahmad Bradshaw IND vs. SEA forty five Vincent Brown SD at OAK
forty six Daniel Thomas MIA vs. BAL forty six Robert Woods BUF at CLE
forty seven Tashard Choice BUF at CLE forty seven Rod Streater OAK vs. SD
forty eight Robert Turbin SEA at IND 48 Terrance Williams DAL vs. DEN
forty nine Mike Goodson NYJ at ATL forty nine Rueben Randle NYG vs. PHI
50 Darren McFadden OAK vs. SD 50 Ryan Broyles DET at GB
51 Sidney Rice SEA at IND
52 Marlon Brown BAL at MIA
53 Andre Roberts ARI vs. AUTOMOBILE
54 Austin Pettis STL vs. JAC
fifty five Donnie Avery KC at TEN
fifty six Brandon Gibson MIA vs. BAL
fifty seven Brandon LaFell AUTOMOBILE at ARI
58 Jason Avant PHI at NYG
fifty nine Mohamed Sanu CIN vs. NE
60 Miles Austin DAL vs. DEN
sixty one Stephen Hill NYJ at ATL
sixty two Aaron Dobson NE at CIN
63 Davone Bess CLE vs. BUF
64 Josh Boyce NE at CIN
sixty five Santonio Holmes NYJ at ATL